Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me. (Bible. New International Version, Ruth 1:16-17.)
A few months ago, I finally decided to focus on my faith—my calling to be true to myself and become a better human being. I wanted to become the person I’ve always aspired to be, improve my actions, and positively impact the world around me. It hasn’t been particularly easy or difficult; it’s been a journey.
Here I am, approaching my 40s—gay, married, becoming a social psychologist—and I’ve decided to convert to Judaism. Honestly, I’ve always felt like I was Jewish, born into a Catholic family and culture. My religion was chosen for me, and it never felt like something I personally wanted. The idea that we came into this world to suffer for the sake of a better afterlife never resonated with me. Looking back, I realize that maybe because I learned this belief as a child, I allowed many bad things to happen, thinking that suffering was my purpose.
As I told my sponsoring rabbi, it feels like I’ve spent the last 40 years wandering in the desert, much like Moses and the early Israelites did, and now it’s time to come home—to the “Promised Land.”
Though I’d always felt this calling and seen the signs, it wasn’t until the tragic events of October 7th, 2023, that I made my decision. I remember watching the news for hours, discussing with my husband what was happening and why it was important for us to learn about history, understand the social and political context, and more. At the same time, I felt like the attack was personal, as though it was happening to me. That’s when I knew it was time to answer the call that had been waiting for so long.
In the months that followed, despite being busy with work, classes, and other commitments, I began reading about the different branches of Judaism, trying to find the one that fit me best. By then, both my husband and I knew it wasn’t a matter of “if,” but a matter of “when” and “how.”
Then I found a conservative congregation near my home, connected with the clergy team, and now here I am—studying Judaism and Hebrew, attending services, and becoming part of both the congregation and the community.
As Ruth said: “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay.”
RS
Roots in the desert; My Jewish Conversion Story 